I'm very excited with my new blog

So I tried this experiment with a new and different blogging platform. After a few weeks, I decided I hated it.

Now, there was nothing wrong with it if you're after a really basic setup that'll just allow you to write blog posts and have them shared with a community that already exists around the platform. Except my needs were a bit more advanced than that.

I realised that I really needed to have categorisation on my blog posts, which the experimental platform didn't have. That was my number one requirements. Without categorisation of my posts, I felt uninspired to write. I didn't have anything to focus my writing on!

I also needed a better commenting system that integrated comments not just within the platform, but from outside of it as well, allowing people to log into the commenting system with their favourite social login (eg. Facebook or Twitter).

And finally, I just really, really missed the level of customisation I could do with Wordpress, with themes and widgets and social integration that made it more dynamic and interactive. To my mind, at least. And it's my mind that's all important.

So today I brought it all back to Wordpress. I've spent half the day fine-tuning the transition, transferring the blog posts that had been made on the other platform, and tidying up the images throughout all of the posts.

And then I did some searching for a better blog theme, because I wasn't entirely happy with the one I'd been using. I've found something which has really excited me with its functionality and appearance, which I'm using now.

The new theme also made it easy to implement a 'featured photos' slider that can be used to feature and link to relevant posts, but I just set it up for some photos I've taken recently, that I think look really awesome.

The result is something I'm now extremely happy with, and I'll use the 'photo slider' to showcase more photos in the future.

What do you think of it? Please visit the site if you're receiving this by email or RSS and let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it!

Writing daily? Right...

Funny. My last post was 'Why you should write every day'. And here it is, two weeks later, and I'm thinking, 'Oh yeh, that's right.. I was going to write daily, wasn't I...'

The best laid plans of mice and men, as they say.

Almost a couple weeks ago I finished working for Lockheed Martin Australia. After 9 months and three contract extensions, they decided they didn't need my services any more. This was a shame, because I quite enjoyed working there, but as a contractor I know I'm only around for as long as the money and the projects last.

Since then I've been enjoying a bit of a holiday, applying for new roles, but mostly just chilling out. I've been exploring a couple of personal projects which has occupied my time, mainly setting up a website where I can explore some creative writing, and changing my computer experiences from Windows 8 to Linux Mint.

I do enjoy playing with new things and learning new things about them.

I found some photos I took over xmas/new year of my holiday around parts of Australia. I'm going to have to get off my ass and process them, and then publish them with a few stories around them. That's my task for next week.

Why you should write every day

I was reading a post about why you should write daily, and I was thinking about it for my own blog.

Over a year ago I used to write daily articles for another blog I had. I did it every day, without fail, for about 4 months before I started to do them every few days, and then every week, every couple weeks... and eventually I stopped altogether after about the 6-7 months mark.

I stopped because the topic (wisdom in daily life) wasn't getting any better for me. I was losing focus and inspiration on writing new articles for the topic.

I decided to get back into writing in an old style of writing I used to do, which worked well for me, and seems to be working well for me now.

Write what I want to write, based on my interests and passions, when I want to write.

So while writing every day is certainly worthwhile as an exercise, you really need to have an excellent focus and understanding of what you're writing, and why you're writing.

If you don't, you might just find yourself trying to push shit uphill, and I'm sure you can imagine how messy that's likely to get.

But what about you?

Do you already write every day, on a topic that you're passionate about? Do you have any tips of your own about how others can write every day? Maybe you'd like to share your site with me and my other readers? Please link your blog below in a comment.

Or would you like to write every day? What would you write about? Why would you like to write about it?

I'd love your feedback and thoughts in the comments below.

Your life will be what you want it to be

"The world will be what it wants to be."
- Tao

I read that some years ago, and I had an epiphany. This world that we have, it's exactly what people want it to be. If they wanted something different, then they'd make it different.

The lives that people have, it's exactly what they want. If they wanted a different life, then they would make different choices, resulting in different consequences.

The things that we say we want, if we're not doing anything towards those things, then we don't really want them. We're just pretending we do. We might be saying that because we want to feel better about ourselves, by pretending that we have higher goals for ourselves. Or we might be saying it to have others think we're better than what we actually feel. Or we might be saying it because we actually, really, truly want it.

But then, if that was true, why aren't we doing the things that lead us towards what we say we want?

Because we don't actually, really, truly want it.

The world will be what it wants to be. And we will be what we want to be. And what we are is exactly what we want to be. And what we become will be exactly a consequence of what we do.

Think about that for a while.

Evolving beyond

Whenever you evolve or get better at something, or you want to explore a new direction in life, people around you will try to prevent you. They'll give you all manner of reasons and arguments about why you shouldn't be doing whatever it is you're doing. It's because what you're doing disturbs them.

They see you doing [whatever it is] and they want to do it too, but it shows to them their own apathy and laziness towards it.

So instead of joining you, they try to prevent you from doing it, so that they can feel better about themselves and their own inaction.

They're not even aware they're doing this. It's completely subconscious. But they do it nevertheless. You've probably seen them doing it in your own life, providing you with resistance to your plans.

Don't listen to them. Don't take to heart the things they say. What they're doing just shows you how fearful they are of your success. Don't let their fear stop you from achieving your objectives.

Leave them behind if necessary. You'll find new people in your life that will always be where you're at.

If your old friends won't join you, make new friends in the new places you'll end up in.

Behind every great man is a great woman

I was reading about one man's exploration into picking up women (Beyond pickup - have your cake and eat it too?) and I was thinking about it in relation to my own experiences and observations over the years.

What I've come up with from my reflections is that if you want to pick up the kinds of women that exist in your fantasies, then you have to become the kind of man that those fantasy women would be attracted to.

Is that really you? Do you want to become a fantasy yourself, or a caricature of yourself, just so you can attract those kinds of women?

Many men do. They think the only way they're going to enjoy having sex with lots of women is to be the kind of man that lots of women will want to have sex with. And they're right.

But at the end of the day, if they're not being themselves, then the entire experience is going to be unfulfilling for them. Sure, they'll have some fun for a while, but in the backs of their minds they'll know that it's all an illusion, all just a fantasy that they're living out.

And the problem with fantasies is that you eventually have to come back to the real world.

In this case, the real world is an unauthentic life. You're living a lie. You're pretending to be someone that you're not, and manipulating women with lies, so that you can get what you want from them. Choosing to live a lie means that you're always having to find new women to move on to, so that the illusion is never threatened by those who start to get close to you, who start to see the flaws in your illusion.

This is part of the reason that 'players' and 'pick up artists' (PUAs) are always finding new women. They don't want a girlfriend, for example, because then the illusion is shattered when the lies become known. Then they have to be responsible for their actions. Much better to stay on the move, never slow down, and never let women know who you really are.

I used to be one of those men that had problems even getting past a first date, let alone having a relationship. Those were terrible times. Eventually I got sick of the bullshit I was experiencing, and I decided to learn 'how to pick up girls'. I browsed the forums, read the articles, bought the books, and spent a great deal of time analysing how I can improve myself to be more attractive to women.

I had some success with it, enjoying meeting new women and the experiences I had with them, but it was from my experiences (rather than the forums and books) that I learned some very valuable lessons about male-female interactions. I learned that if you weren't a 'manly man' (I wasn't) you could still achieve success with hot women if you did a number of things:

• don't try to impress them (stop caring what they might think of you)


• don't get caught up in their dramas (when they drag you into their drama, you lose control)


• make them laugh (if you're an ugly fucker but you make a woman laugh, she's yours)

One of my most significant discoveries was that if you made an attractive woman think you weren't interested in them, and you put them into the 'friend zone' before they did, that just made them need to prove to you that they were worth your attention. They're very insecure, these woman, and they need validation. If you take it away from them, then they have to do whatever they can to get you to give it to them.

I ventured into the fantasy land, enjoying the experiences it had to offer, but after a couple years of this I decided it wasn't my thing. I didn't enjoy the lies. I didn't enjoy having to be aloof in order to maintain the mystery. I didn't enjoy having to hide the different women from each other, and the complications that brought into my life. It wasn't me.

So I gave it up and started working out how to live with authenticity instead of with lies. I think it's worked out pretty well so far.

When you give up on the fantasy and spend some time working out who you really are, understanding what's important to you and why, then a few things happen. You start to accept who you are, and you realise you don't need to run from yourself any more. You don't need to pretend to be someone else, just so you can feel good about yourself - even though the person you feel good about is an illusion.

When you understand who you are and what you want, then you can start moving forward with an understanding of the kind of woman that you really want to be with, who will complement you, rather than simply be your partner to a fantasy.

Knowing yourself is the key to finding your own perfect woman, the one who will be the authentic partner to your authentic self. She'll accept your weaknesses and complement them with her strengths, and her own weaknesses will be complemented by your own strengths.

There won't be any lies, because you'll get everything you want with each other. You'll struggle at first, but she'll make you feel comfortable to share the things in your past that you've been ashamed of, and they'll be accepted by her as simply who you are, and she'll love you despite them.

It's possible, because I have it. I've been through the fantasies and lies and now I'm with someone who accepts the real me. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not. I don't have to tell lies to fool her or others. I've shared my secrets and shames and it's only brought us closer.

It's so refreshing.

Men that are constantly on the move, constantly chasing the next woman, are men who are missing something from their lives, but they're not really sure what it is. They probably don't even see it. It doesn't matter what excuses or even reasons they come up with to justify their actions. At the end of the day, they're searching for something they don't have.

And I believe what they're searching for is a good woman to be their partner in life.

"Behind every great man is a great woman."

For a man to be great, he needs a great partner providing him with support. For a man to know what is right, he needs someone he can trust to be his sounding board, to tell him when he's being an idiot, and to support him through the times when he needs it. To encourage him to always be his best, not just for her, but for himself, for the things he needs to do in his life.

That's what men are searching for.

Some go all beta and try to please all the women they meet. Some go all alpha and just try to fuck all the women they meet. The reason they do these things lies somewhere in between the two states of being.

Can beta males become alpha males? 

Absolutely. But it's because being beta is not giving them what they want or need, and they realise it and are hurt by it. Becoming alpha is a way of covering up the hurt, and of subconsciously striking back at the women that hurt them.

Betas that become alpha are angry. They're running from the state of being that didn't work for them. They go from one side side of the pendulum swing (beta) to the other side (alpha), and they might spend many years there before realising that they need to come back towards the middle to find a balance.

Another of the things I learned is that to women there are four kinds of men.

1. men that women want to fuck


2. men that women want to marry


3. men that women want to be friends with


4. men that women don't want to know

And it's extremely difficult for a man in any of those categories to be in any of the other categories.

• You might be an alpha male that she wants to fuck, but she won't want to marry you 'cause you just want to fuck every woman you see. Which is perfectly fine by you. :)


• You might be a beta male that she wants to marry because you have lots of money and you'll be a good father to her kids - she'll only fuck you to get her kids, but then she'll be fucking the alphas behind your back.


• You might be a beta male that she'll only be friends with for your emotional support - she won't want to fuck you and she certainly won't want you to be the father of her kids, either because you don't have enough money or you're just not alpha enough for her to want to fuck.


• And then you might be the omega male that she doesn't want to fuck, marry or have anything to do with. "Get away from me, you creep!"

If you're a beta male that's not getting what you want, you have to become more alpha. If you're an alpha male that's getting tired of chasing women, you might have to start becoming a bit more beta if you want to settle down with one. If you're an omega male that's wondering what you're doing wrong - get a job, buy some decent clothes, stop looking at porn, and do some fucking exercise.

When you're tired of it all, here's the secret to getting what you want. It's pretty simple. Be both alpha and beta. 

Be the guy that a great woman will want to fuck, but you'll also have to be there for her to make sure she's getting what she needs as well. That requires being emotionally available to her, to make her feel secure, to make the relationship a long one rather than a short one. Have a decent job that can propel you towards what you desire in life, and which will help maintain her own feelings of security that you can provide for her needs.

But make sure that's not why she's with you. It has to be about the support and the sex you're getting from a great woman, it can never be about the money that she thinks she's going to get from you. Dump her ass if that's the case.

If you've found your great woman, never let yourself become complacent, because as soon as you become too beta, as soon as she starts to think you're not satisfying her needs any more, you'll lose her.

If you're not a great man any more, then you'll lose your great woman. She'll go off to find another great man to support instead.

If you get fat, lose interest in the things that you were passionate about, and start to ignore your needs as well as hers, you become the beta male that she won't want to fuck. If you become a bad father and ignore her needs as well as the family's needs, then you won't even be the man she'll want to be married to. You'll be kissing all that goodbye.

You have to be your own man all the time, doing what is important to you, while still being there for her and supporting her to do what's important to her as well.

That way you both get what you need, and as long as you're both winning, you'll be doing great. As soon as one of you starts to lose, everything starts going downhill.

Always look for the win-win in your relationships, and never give up your own needs to satisfy someone else. Be the alpha and the beta and strive for the balance in between.

Good luck.

What's your personality type?

I'm curious about what your personality type is, in accordance with the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality profiles. I'm wondering what personality types are visiting this blog and reading what I write. Who are you? That's what I'm curious about.

If you're curious too, then fill out this quiz so that you can see what your type is, and let me know in the comments below.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

I'm an INTP

My own type is INTP. It means I'm Introverted, iNtuitive, Thoughtful and Perceptive. I'm going to copy the most interesting parts of its description and talk about it.

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.

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My career is currently as a Business Analyst, so that's appropriate. I seem to have stumbled into a job I'm very good at. I'm also known to completely ignore the people around me, and the world in general, when I'm completely focused on something that requires me to think. Which is pretty much most everything I do.

INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible

I'm usually very relaxed and easy-going, but if you want to know what principles of mine I think are being violated, you only need to read the things I rant about. (Which reminds me. I should write a blog post about my principles, at some point...)

[Their] open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition.

One of the things I've noticed on many occasions is that when I'm arguing in favour of something I believe or have a strong opinion about, I'm often seeking more information from my opposition. I ask questions about their own thoughts and take onboard what they say as extra 'data' for my analysis. If their data doesn't mesh well with what I currently have, then I'm likely to ignore or reject it, but if it provides clarification or insight on data I already have, then I'm likely to allow it to modify my position if it makes sense to do so.

But getting to that point can often be quite challenging for whoever is my opposition at the time. :)

Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages, computer systems--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought.

This is very true. I love playing with and creating new systems. In my career, my life, and even the games I end up playing have often seen me creating systems for other people to experience things more easily.

In seasons of low energy level, or moments of single-minded concentration, the INTP is aloof and detached in a way that might even offend more relational or extraverted individuals.

When I'm tired or just concentrating on something, I'm often detached and distant in ways that other people have been annoyed with. They think it's personal that I'm ignoring them, but it's not just them - it's everything that ceases to exist while I focus on something. I exist inside my mind, and everything outside of it disappears to me.

Your turn. What's your personality type? How do you feel about what you've learned of yourself? Do you think it's mostly accurate, or did you answer the questions wrong? :)