Taking selfies means you're mentally ill

If you're someone who takes lots of photos of yourself in a bathroom or out somewhere enjoying yourself - instead of taking photos of what it is you're enjoying - then you're probably a narcissist with a mental illness. There's something wrong with you.

From International Business Times:

Selfies Linked to Narcissism, Addiction and Mental Illness, Say Scientists

The growing trend of taking smartphone selfies is linked to mental health conditions that focus on a person's obsession with looks...

From Wikipedia on narcissism:

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity, or egotistic admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, that derive from arrogant pride. The term originated with Narcissus in Greek mythology who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Every time you take a photo of yourself and share it with the world, you're seeking gratification and approval from others for your appearance.

Back in 2012, I was intrigued by a work of art that someone had done, where they took a photo of themselves every single day for 365 days and then put it together into a video. It was to show their personal changes over a year. I thought it would be fun to do the same kind of thing.

I gave it up after a few months because I was uncomfortable with taking photos of myself. I recognised there was an element of vanity involved, showing myself to the world on a daily basis. The fact I was doing it for an artistic experiment didn't matter, because I felt uncomfortable doing it.

Being all narcissistic and putting myself on display just didn't feel right to me, so I stopped.

Lots of women take selfies. Lots of them take lots of selfies. They seek the attention of men so they can feel better about themselves. And they're encouraged by idiot, lonely and desperate men that give them that gratification.

"You're so hot! Here's my number, call me."

Etc etc.

What about you? Do you take a lot of selfies? Maybe you should just stop it, it's only catering to your mental illness. Your friends know what you look like. Strangers can see what you look like with your profile photo, if they're interested. The rest of your photos? Just share the beauty of your life and the world around you.

I'm not a young man any more

One of the things I've noticed is that a lot of young people, as they travel around to different countries, just love 'doing it rough'. They sleep on the ground, in bus shelters, up in trees, or in dormitory style hostels with groups of other young people.

That's not for me!

With my back issues, I'm going to have to sleep in a decent bed every night. And I snore like a trooper, so if I sleep with a group of people they're going to smother me to death before the sun rises.



That's not quite the outcome I'd be happy with.

So my travels are going to have to include a decent bed, in a room that's shared only with my wife (who's pretty much used to my snoring by now!).

To this end, my options include house sitting in other countries, where you look after someone's house while they're on holiday, or renting a cheap furnished apartment that can be used as a home base while you're in the country. From all accounts, many countries that I'll be visiting will have cheap apartment rentals, for a fraction of the cost of what we pay in our first world countries.

You can enjoy backpacking while young

When you're young and fit, you can carry huge backpacks around with you, without it detracting from your ability to walk the roads and mountains of the countries you visit.

When you're in your late 40s like me, with a collapsed disc in your back that prevents you from carrying anything more than 5kg - and even then with great discomfort - as well as prevent you from walking more than a hundred metres before having to rest, then backpacking becomes impossible.

So no backpacks for me. Unless it's 5kg or less.

In the recent past I've looked at how I can 'pack my life into a bag'. I think a small 30 litre backpack would be entirely adequate.



When you're travelling, you only need to pack the things you're going to need, while wearing the rest. It's called ultra-light packing.

Think about it. Let's say you're wearing decent travel / walking shoes, maybe some socks, light trousers (with legs that unzip to become shorts), underwear, a shirt, a hat, sunglasses, and you're carrying your smartphone which doubles as your camera, and your wallet and passport are in your pockets, secured by zippers.

What more do you need?

• Another couple items of underwear / bra


• another pair of lightweight trousers


• another pair of socks


• another couple of shirts (everything lightweight, remember)


• a towel


• lightweight leg and body thermals for when it gets cool


• fleece jacket


• bathers / bikini


• raincoat


• basic toiletries like toothbrush and toothpaste, shower gel, and shaving kit


• small first aid kit


• some kind of Swiss army knife (that doesn't violate airport security procedures)

You can wash your dirty clothes while wearing the clean clothes.

And then you've got the really important stuff.

• 13" laptop with 2-3 USB ports


• universal power adaptor


• USB charging cables for the devices you take with you (phone, camera, etc)


• maybe a digital camera that'll take better photos than your smartphone, but if you're happy with your phone (like I currently am), why use a larger camera? No need, so discard that extra weight.

What else do you think you would need?

I don't think there's anything else you'll need that can't be considered a 'want', or 'paranoia'. Many people pack more than they need just because they think there's the possibility that they'll need ten items of underwear, four towels, five pairs of shoes, half the contents of the bathroom cupboard, a fresh change of clothes for every day of their holiday, and fancy clothes just in case they meet someone important.

Avoiding extra luggage with things you don't need also has the following benefits:

• You save money by not having to pay for checked in baggage fees at airports. Your flights can become that much cheaper.


• You don't need to wait around for your baggage to come out on the conveyor belt.


• You don't need to struggle with walking long distances while carrying a suitcase and half a dozen travel bags.


• You can go to a coffee shop somewhere with everything you own in your small backpack, relaxing without needing to worry about suitcases and travel bags.


• If you get tired of one place, or you're just ready to move on anyway, you just pack your light backpack and move on. You don't need to pack or manage suitcases with tons of crap in them.

Everything that's in the bullet point list above is all that's really needed when you go long term travelling. It's light, so you can carry it in a small backpack, and it's comprehensive. You've got replacements to wear if your clothes get dirty, and you can always wash clothes along the way. Even if it's in a stream and you lay it out on a rock to dry.

If you find something you need that you don't have, or you need to replace something, then you can buy it in the country that you're in. And you can sell it again or give it away if appropriate, before you move on to the next country.

It just makes sense to travel light when travelling.

You can enjoy long walks while young

Many travel destinations for young people include many hours or days of walking around town, or in the countryside, or up mountains.



Not for me! I can walk a few minutes and then I have to stop for a rest somewhere, to ease my back complaints. It's a pain in the ass (not to mention in the back!), but it's what I have to take into consideration.

So wherever I go has to be within civilisation. Taxis, buses, trains, cars or trams. Those are my only choices.

Sure, I'll still go for walks here and there, but it can only be for very short distances. And I'll have a walking stick.

But it's not something I'm interested in letting stop me. The world is still out there for me to see, even if I'm not young any more.

You can enjoy life without responsibility when young

Responsibility. It's a dirty word for many young people. Many of them travel just to avoid it! But the older you get, the more responsibilities you end up having to deal with.

I'm married now, with a plan to have children this year (we're working on it...). That's a big responsibility!

I know that there are people who do travel the world with their small children. They do it quite successfully, and the concept is attractive to me. I have no doubt that my wife and I could do exactly the same thing.


Photo courtesy of Baby Travel Tips from Traveling FamiliesThe question, however, is not when, but if.

I can't do it if my wife doesn't want to. That's irresponsible and negligent towards the relationship we have. So compromises have to be made.

So after lots of thought and many conversations, the result is that we'll play it by ear. We both want to travel, and travel is important to her too. So we'll find a way.

My goal in life is to find freedom. Freedom to travel, to see the world, and to eventually decide where I'm going to settle down and retire; not because it will be what I can afford, or because I'm restricted to location, but because I've seen the world and found a place I want to call home.

My wife's goal in life is to find security and stability in life, with a family. Our goals could potentially be quite incompatible, but it just means we have to work hard to find a middle ground somewhere.

At the end of the day, I'm not a young man any more. I just can't pack up without a care in the world and go galavanting off around the world on a whim. It has to be planned and managed as the huge project that it really is.

But it's very exciting to think about how I can make it work!

One of my wife's challenges is with a stable and secure source of income. She feels that you can only have a stable and secure source of income when you have a steady job, where you get up each day and go off to work, and then come home at the end of each day exhausted. Once a year you go on a holiday somewhere to make up for the rest of the year that you've spent working.

Oh my... Anyone who's been a regular on this blog can probably understand how much that makes me grit my teeth, smile and nod and say, 'Yes dear,' while inwardly trying to work out how the hell I can create security and stability for her with multiple sources of online income.

It's going to be challenging, that's for sure, but I do see how I can make it happen.

And if I can see it, then I can achieve it.

Part of the challenge I have is to find a way to help my wife see it too.

The answer lies in achieving 'security and stability' with my online sources of income. If I can consistently earn enough to pay for our weekly expenses over at least 6 months, then that will be a good start on this journey.

Wish me luck! :)

Perpetual travelling while disabled

Back in March this year I wrote about why I want to be a perpetual traveller. I still want it, but since I wrote that post I've learned a lot about what's likely to be involved with perpetual travelling, in the context of my own capabilities. It's been an eye-opening period of research and understanding for me.

Because my back gives me problems, I can't walk for more than 5-10 minutes before I need to sit down and rest. Considering a lot of travellers end up walking for quite long distances, I need to take into account when planning my travels. I essentially need to drive everywhere, or be able to take some form of transport to my destinations.

That rules out a lot of different locations around the world. Places that the only way I can see them is if I walk to them. So I'm going to have to just enjoy seeing other people's photos of them instead.

But there's still a lot of places I can travel to, as long as I plan to avoid walking.

Shanghai, China



Back in 2011 I spent a couple weeks in Shanghai, China (I took the photo above). That was fantastic, I loved it. I saw a lot of the city without too much of a problem, day and night. It was hot, and I had to rest a lot, but we got around in taxis all the time, and a couple times on the subway. Having Fanfan as my partner, guide and translator really helped, that's for sure!

But the great thing is that I was able to travel around while disabled.

I want to see a lot more of China - Hong Kong, Beijing, and more of Shanghai. I want to see Guangzhou (Fanfan's home town), and Shenzhen. I want to see Japan too, and Mount Fuji and cherry blossoms. I want to see Thailand, Fiji, and Singapore. I want to see Canada and its forests and mountains and snow. I want to travel around Europe and see its various cultures and history and scenery.

I can do all this - as long as I don't walk everywhere!

But ensuring I cater to my back also means ensuring I cater to my back - not just with walking, but with accommodation too.

Over the Christmas and New Year period almost a year ago, I did a camping holiday for a couple weeks, seeing a lot of locations in Victoria and South Australia that I've always wanted to see (or see again).

The Great Ocean Road, Victoria, Australia



Isn't that a beautiful photo? Yes, but it was even more beautiful to be there, taking that photo. It's that kind of beauty that inspires me to go travelling around the country, and around the world.



For that holiday I did months worth of planning and preparation, researching the best way to go travelling and camping in a way that I thought I could handle. I ensured that I had an easy camping setup, with a tent that would be easy for my back, so that it wouldn't be a problem. I bought a '3 second tent' that would take just a few seconds to setup, and a few seconds to pack up when finished.

It was a lot of fun, as you can probably imagine from this picture.



Now, even though it was fun, and I really did love it - I didn't love how my back felt during the process.

See, the tent took 3 seconds to setup, but what they didn't talk about in the reviews was the process of attaching the lines from the tent to the pegs, and then hammering them into the ground.

It required me to crouch down or get on my knees to whack away at the pegs, and then get back up again to do the same to the next peg. After 5 minutes of doing this, my back was killing me!

Packing up the next morning wasn't too bad, but still, with my back and its weakness, it was still a pain in the ass that left it feeling sore.

And then there was the time we tried to find a camp site in the Coorong National Park. We went to a number of sites, but the sites were either too exposed to the wind and sand, or the ground was hard as a rock and covered with ants.

No sooner had I laid the groundsheet and walked back to the truck to get the tent, the groundsheet was absolutely covered in ants. Regardless of location. After spending a couple of hours trying to find a suitable site, I was over it.

From that point on, my body was telling me that I NEEDED to stay in hotels that didn't require me to kill my back on a daily basis.

So in the future, as I plan my holidays and my travels, I'm going to need to make sure that hotel accommodation is included in the plans. As much as I love camping, it's too much of a pain in the ass for me.

Of course, there are other options. Like pulling a long a caravan behind us as we travel around, dump it somewhere as a 'base camp', and then go off-roading nearby, knowing that there's a campsite to return to that doesn't need to kill my back with setting up a tent, etc.

But being able to afford a caravan is a long way away yet.

Something like this would be nice enough:



There are ways of becoming a perpetual traveller around Australia, with offroad vehicle and caravan, but they involve either having lots of money, or being able to earn money while travelling.

Since I don't have lots of money, my choice is to earn money while travelling.

So the caravan will need an internet connection. It's achievable with mobile phone connections acting as a data and wifi hotspot, but obviously not out in the middle of the outback.

It'd be a nice adventure though, and something to look forward to. Travelling around Australia, seeing the beautiful countryside, camping in a caravan that would be better for my back and our outback lifestyle than camping in a tent, and earning money along the way.

Maybe from writing about the adventure and taking photos of it.

A question for you

Would you pay a reasonable monthly subscription to receive updates of my travels and photos of the country? Including the occasional travels around the world?

I'm considering all kinds of options to help me travel, and having you, the interested reader, assist me by paying me for my writing is just one of those ways.

There'd be lots more articles like this, that's for sure. And lots less articles about feminism and other things that are meaningless in the context of life and the wonderful experiences it offers.

I'm excited just thinking about it. And that's why I want to do more than just think about it.

Traveling while disabled

One of the things I'm intending doing this year is writing more about my travels, and my experiences as a disabled person, off-road driver and traveller. I'm not sure how many of those there are out there who fit into all those categories, but I'm sure they're out there, and I'm one of them.

I'm not disabled to the point that I can't walk, so I'm lucky and grateful for that. But I'm disabled in that I can't lift anything heavy, and I can't do a lot of bending, and I can't stand or walk for longer than a few minutes without it causing me pain.

I know, I know - "You can stand?! And WALK?! LUXURY!"

All those with a disability are unique, and I'm fully aware that my own disability is a lot less significant than many other people's disabilities. However, I'm not here to compare my disability with anyone else's, but everyone with a disability knows that they are disabled, in whatever manner that might be, and their life is impacted by that to the point that they're simply unable to share many of the same experiences in life as those who aren't disabled.

What I want to do is show that just because I have a disability that prevents me from walking, it doesn't need to affect my exploration of life and our world. Even to disabled people, there are a multitude of experiences that are available to them.

Of course, to those who can't even move or get out of bed, my posts might not be entirely suitable, but at the end of the day we can all find inspiration in anything.

It's 'an inspiration' that I want to provide for those that are looking for it. I want to give those that need it an understanding that they don't need to be limited by their body, and that there are things they can do to compensate for any physical weaknesses they might have.

One of the first battles, however, is in the mind rather than the body. We need to decide we're not going to accept our limitations before we can decide to do something about it. That decision might take years of struggle, but it's entirely possible to win - especially when what you're doing is fighting against yourself.

So I'll be writing about my experiences as I search for and find solutions to various issues that I have, with the intention of helping others search for and find similar solutions to their own problems.

It's my journey, and it's unique. But it can also be shared with those that will be encouraged to find ways they can enrich their own life experiences.

My back went out today

I woke up today feeling a slight twinge in my lower back. This is usually a sign that I need to make an appointment with the chiropractor for a readjustment of the spine. So I went off to work, got out of the car, and the twinge turned into a 'twang!' as something shifted in my pelvis and gave way.

I've had it happen before, where a pelvis/hip joint goes out of alignment and you get sudden pain and and inability to move properly. When it happens - like it did today - I can't straighten my back without it seriously hurting, so I walk with a slightly hunched over back. I also walk with a limp, because I can't straight the leg either, without causing more pain. So I try to deal with the pain I have and walk like the hunchback of Notre Dame....

When it happened today I limped from the car into the office building and then called my chiropractor. Luckily she was able to see me straight away, so I limped back out to the car and drove to see her, where she did some 'adjustments'. Lots of bones cracking later, and I felt a bit better, and drove back to work.

I spent the rest of the day trying to do my work while resting in the chair, but it didn't work very well. Every time I had to get up to talk to someone or go somewhere, I was in a lot of pain. So eventually I went home about 2:30, having had all I could take.

Since then I've been at home relaxing, taking it easy, trying to let the problem sort itself out.

I think a joint around the hip has popped out or something. I think the chiropractor called it the sacro-something or other...

I just did a Google search for the 'sacro something or other' and found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint

It's inflamed, and needs rest. It happens every now and again.

Welcome to my life. My Journey.

[I posted another post prior to this (I've been struggling with a disability...), copied from something I wrote on Google+ last month, on Xmas Eve. I decided to start a new 'Disabled' category here, because I'm disabled, and this seemed like a good time for it.]

I've been struggling with a disability...

[I wrote this post on Google+ on Xmas Eve last year, and I decided to put it here as well.]

I've been struggling with a disability since 1993, almost 20 years now. The disability is invisible to those who don't know me.

I've had a herniated / collapsed disc in my lower back which bulges out against the sciatic nerve. When I'm walking, the pressure of gravity on the spine causes the disc to bulge out even further, causing pain in the lower back.

The longer I walk, the worse it gets. If I'm walking for more than 5 minutes, my legs go numb. As soon as I sit down or even rest and put my weight on something, it eases the pain and I get feeling coming back into my legs. Only for the numbness to return again when I continue walking.

It's something I've been able to cope with and manage. I get regular chiropractor sessions to put my skeletal structure back into place (the spinal weakness causes my muscles to compensate, which seems to pull my skeletal structure out of alignment on an ongoing basis). I also get regular massages, although I haven't done for a few months because my girlfriend does a lot of that these days, and gets my body feeling all relaxed. (From massage! Get your mind out of the gutter...)

Recently, however, I've had some new problems. Due to the offroading enhancements I've made on my #fjcruiser , it will no longer fit into undercover parking and I have to look for street parking or outdoor carpark areas. On the weekends, this is ok, it's not too busy and I can find carparks near my destinations so I don't have to walk very far. But during business hours during the week, it's a completely different story.

When I've needed to come into the CBD to attend a meeting for work, parking for my vehicle has been nonexistent. I've often had to find parking quite a distance away, which has been about a 15 minute walk.

This is a nice, easy distance for most people. For me, it's been a freakin' nightmare.

So after much deliberating and self-questioning, I booked an appointment with my doctor (meeting him in a couple hours from now) to get him to authorise a Disability Parking Permit.

For the entire period of this disability, I've refused to accept it as a disability. I refused to accept or acknowledge that I'm disabled. Twenty years ago I was sent an 'invalid application form' because the nature of my disability was such that I couldn't work at the time, and the independent government medical assessment determined that I'd never work again and was thus eligible for an invalid pension.

I threw it away and angrily said "I'm not disabled!" and got on with my life instead, working where I could, in the industry that I could. Which happened to be IT, where I can sit down and relax all the time.

So now, I'm at a point in my life where I have to accept and acknowledge that yes, I'm disabled. Walking is a significant problem for me, and yes, I need a disability parking permit for those times when I can't get a normal park close by where I need to go.

There's an embarrassment within me, a sense of broken pride that I can't cope with what my life is giving me. But as someone explained to me recently, it's about maintaining the quality of my life, and if this permit will do that, then I should make use of it.

There's also the knowledge that there are many, many others who are far more disabled than me, who I would be worried about taking a space for someone more deserving. But that's part of the acknowledgement of my own disability that I'm working through.

There's also the embarrassment I'll feel when challenged by someone when I get out of my vehicle in a manner that suggests I'm not disabled at all. But I read this article just now which inspired me to write this post.

http://www.abc.net.au/rampup/articles/2011/01/17/3114690.htm

This particular paragraph resonated with me:

Comparing one person's needs to another's echoes the old adage about comparing apples and oranges. It's subjective and pointless. A person with a disability who doesn't require a wheelchair could be in an incredible amount of pain; a person with a wheelchair could be pain free, but have to overcome a lot of difficulty to exit and enter their car; a person with an upper body disability might have trouble carrying items long distances, or pushing a trolley. Who's to say which struggle is more deserving when there is limited disabled parking available?

And then this paragraph also struck a chord with my own way of thinking:

As a permit holder and sometimes wheelchair user, I am mindful that there are people with needs different to mine. My choice to use disabled parking is calculated by considering my pain level, plus distance, divided by regular parking availability. If I don't need it and have another option, I won't park there.

So in a couple of hours I'll talk to my doctor and get this application form authorised by him. I remember he offered to authorise this action about 14 years ago, but I refused at the time.

Tomorrow I'll have a disabled parking permit. Tomorrow I'll be disabled, and I'll accept that.