How to know if you're a multi-passionate Scanner

Multi-passionate is another name for Scanner. One who has many passions in life, and doesn't want to have to choose. And you shouldn't have to!

If you're wondering if you're a Scanner or Multi-passionate or whatever else you might want to call it, here's a few questions you can ask yourself. If you answer YES to most of them, then you're just like me. Hi!

1. Do you find that you have a lot of different interests or hobbies that you enjoy, and you don't want to just choose one of them?


2. Do you find yourself working different jobs, business ventures or projects at the same time, while enjoying the variety it brings you?


3. Do you find people seem to suggest that you should focus more on one thing, or that you're inconsistent and don't follow things through to the end?


4. Do you find yourself wanting to learn about something new all the time, but then you lose interest in it and look for something else?


5. Do you find that when you have some spare time, you have difficulty making a choice about which one of your activities, interests or projects you want to do, because you want to do them all?


6. Did you have trouble choosing a degree at university, maybe deciding that it would be better to choose a course that allowed you to learn lots of different things?


7. Do you find yourself curious about why people would dedicate themselves to becoming an expert in one field, knowing that you could never do the same thing?


8. Do you find it difficult to describe your perfect job, but find it easy to describe ten things you'd absolutely love to do in an ideal job - even though that job probably doesn't exist in this world?


9. Have you ever tried to come up with a business idea but end up frustrated because you can't work out how to bring all your interests together to make you money?


10. Do you find that you're more of a generalist instead of a specialist, and that you know a little bit about many different things?

If you answered yes to most of those, then welcome to my little corner of the world.

You and I, we're the same. We have lots of different interests and ideas about how we want to do things, and a lot of difficulty deciding what to actually focus our attention on. They all look so inviting!

And then there's #9 which I really relate to - how the hell do I bring all my interests together (or even just some of them!) so that I can make money doing what I love?

I'm working on that.

Understanding more about how much I love doing lots of different things at the same time and allowing myself to be that way, even appreciating that about myself, is allowing me to see opportunities for offering some of my passions as services to others.

I can also see that I can create a business where I offer many of my passions as services, all within the same business. I'm passionate about providing IT support services, web design, web content and web administration. I love this kind of stuff.

Maybe you can do something similar? What many talents do you have that you could possibly offer within a broad range of services to others, to help them solve problems in their lives and want them to reward you with their money?

I'm on a journey to find out these things about myself, and to change my life in ways that help me turn my passions into an income. Maybe you'd like to join me on this journey too.

Share your thoughts below, and tell me what passions you think you have that you could start selling.

Have you ever wondered what to do with your life?

Have you ever asked yourself the question, "What should I do with my life?" Have you ever wondered what you're going to be when you grow up, even though you're in your 30's or 40's, or even older? Have you ever wondered why you keep starting things that you never finish? Why you get bored once you've learned something, and decide to move on to something else? Have you ever found yourself with so many interests that you don't know what to focus on - you just want to do them all? Have you ever struggled with sticking with something because that's what others do, and you're made to feel that there's something wrong with you if you don't?

If you identify with all the above, then it's likely you're one of a select group of people called 'Scanners', a title invented by Barbara Sher, the author of Refuse to Choose - What do I do when I want to do everything.

Scanners want to taste everything. They love to learn about the structure of a flower, and they love to learn about the theory of music. And the adventures of travel. And the tangle of politics. To scanners, the universe is a treasure house full of a million works of art, and life is hardly long enough to see them all. - Barbara Sher

Of course, if you don't identify with the above, then you're probably a 'Diver':

If you're someone who is happy being completely absorbed by one field, I've labeled you a Diver. Some clear examples of Divers are professional musicians, scientists, mathematicians, professional chess players, athletes, business owners, and financiers. These people may "relax" with a hobby, but they're rarely passionate about anything but their field. - Barbara Sher

I've been wondering what to do with my life for ALL OF MY LIFE, so learning about being a Scanner is just awesome for me.

Let me share with you a list of 'jobs' and major life changes that I've experienced over the years. This is my 'job / life resume', a list of my work and travels in order of earliest (1985) to most recent (2014). It shows my own story of trying to work out what to do with my life...

1985 to 1992 - aged 18 to 25, unemployed with these odd jobs:

• fruit picker


• fruit packer


• public servant (hated it like you wouldn't believe, left after 6 months)


• left home and moved to Adelaide, SA (1988)


• lawnmowing


• door to door vacuum cleaner salesman (1990-92, for two years, amazingly - but I only averaged a $90 a week income at the end of it)


• moved house more than a dozen times between 88-92

1992 to 2000 - aged 25 to 33, still unemployed with odd jobs:

• moved from Adelaide to Canberra, ACT (1992)


• sold printed certificates of surname histories and coats of arms at a stall that I took around from shopping centre to shopping centre


• car salesman (lasted 3 months, told the manager he was an idiot with his 'women are the enemy and exist only to give us their money' philosophy of sales, he fired me)


• freelance web designer (a friend gave me his old computer in '96)


• pizza delivery guy


• late night pizza seller to nightclubbers (bain marie outside pizza store)


• headhunted by an ISP as their in-house web designer


• became the ISP's tech support guy for customers


• became the ISP's office manager/tech support/web designer (until I quit because I didn't like how the owner didn't care about the customers)


• moved house more than a dozen times between 92-2000

2000 to 2007 - my first (and ONLY) full-time job(!):

• moved to New Zealand


• worked in an internet cafe owned by a kiwi who lived in a boat


• contract role on a help desk with a company called Computerland, providing support to farmers with computers


• permanent role on help desk with Computerland (this lasted from early 2001 through to early 2007, but with the following different types of jobs: help desk analyst (level 1, then 2, then 3), then moved into Systems Administration and became a Sharepoint Trainer / Administrator, as well as a VOIP Administrator and Service Delivery Manager - all at the same time!


• moved house only 6 times between 2000 - 2007

2007 to present - my life as a contractor:

• moved back to Australia


• 3 mth contract: helpdesk support to defence force scientists


• 6 mth contract: application support to DEWR (Australian govt agency)

By this time I'd been doing tech support for a decade and needed a change. I was over it. But what to do next? I decided to reinvent myself and become a Business Analyst.

• 6 mth contract: Business Analyst with AGD (Australian govt agency)


• 6 mth contract: Business Analyst with ACMA (Australian govt agency)


• 6 mth contract: Business Analyst with Hewlett Packard


• 12 mth contract: Business Analyst with Hewlett Packard


• 12 mth contract: Business Analyst with Hewlett Packard


• 6 mth contract: Business Analyst with DHS (Australian govt agency)


• 9 mth contract: Senior Business Analyst with Lockheed Martin Australia


• 1 mth contract: Business Analyst with FaHCSIA (Australian govt agency)


• 2 mth contract: Senior Business Analyst with Westpac Bank


• moved around only 5 times between 2007 - 2014

And now here we are today.

I've been out of work for 3 months now (as of this writing), and find myself in the process of trying to reinvent myself once again.

While I can do Business Analyst work, I really don't want to. I want more freedom, more variety, more interesting things to do in my life. More interesting to me, of course.

When I look at this list of my jobs and my life over the past 29 years, it's obvious that over time I've been not only 'settling down' and finding some elements of stability, but I've also gone from being long-term unemployed (for 15 years) with odd jobs here and there, to executive-level and high-paying work within a decade. But while continuing to earn $150,000+ a year remains attractive to me, it's not fulfilling.

I'm at a point where I'm looking for fulfilling work, rather than just work. I want to work on the internet, doing things that I LOVE, and which I can make money from. I want to write for a living, as well as to share myself with the world. I want to be able to use my internet-based income to support myself, my wife and my family as we travel around the country and the world.

I have goals. But I'm still working out how the hell I can achieve them.

I asked a buddy today a question (it was in the context of a conversation we were having): "what's your perception of who I am, what kind of person I am.... I'm curious." I was curious about what their perception was of the person that I am, based on my interactions and conversations with them in the game. Their answer surprised me.

"I think you don't know...as if you haven't made up your mind."

Very perceptive, and very accurate.

I haven't made up my mind what kind of person I am yet. I'm still wondering what to do with my life. I'm still exploring.

But I feel like I'm getting closer. I feel like I'm finding it ok to pursue what will make me happy and fullfilled instead of 'just a job'.

However, until I start making an actual income that consistently pays for my living expenses from what I love, then I'll still look for a job. I still need to pay for my life.

Honestly, I hope I can earn a living from what I love before I find another job. The idea of doing something I don't actually enjoy, when I'm that much closer to understanding what I would actually love to do, just fills me with dread.

And that's part of being a Scanner.

It's a journey through the things that you enjoy, until you don't enjoy them any more. And then you find something else that you enjoy, and you repeat the process.

I'm also getting closer to understanding what I need to do to make use of my life and my skills and my personality type and turn it into an income.

All those things that I've done over the years, that I've enjoyed, that I've learned something valuable from but then moved on to something else... They're all still there inside of me. All those skills and experiences aren't of value to me any more because I'm not interested in them.

But they could be of value to others.

Teaching others how to do what I can do has been part of what I've found enjoyable throughout my life.

I think I need to work out how to promote myself within a structure that allows me to do more to help others learn how to do what I've done, while also making money from it.

What about you? Have you been wondering what to do with your life? Have you gotten any closer to finding out? Please share your story below.

A quick way to determine your personality type

Most people like a quick way of determining their personality type without needing to do a test. They might not have enough time, or maybe their personality type just doesn't like doing tests!

So I thought it would be a great idea to allow you to quickly work out what your personality type is likely to be.

Just have a look at the below personality traits and pick out which one from each section feels like it's you, and the result will be four letters that tell you who you are. Then click on the link for that type and read the description to find out more.

Are you Extroverted or Introverted?
Extraverted (E) Expressive, outgoing, prefer group activities, eager to speak their minds, more comfortable when around other people than when alone, get energized by social interaction	Introverted (I) Reserved, listen carefully, prefer solitary activities, more comfortable when alone than when around other people, get exhausted by social interactio
Are you Intuitive or Sensing?
Intuitive (N) Introspective, rely on their imagination, absorbed in ideas, focus on what might happen	Sensing (S) Observant, rely on their senses, absorbed in practical matters, focus on what has happened
Are you Thinking or Feeling?
Thinking (T) Tough, follow their minds, suppress feelings, focus on objectivity and rationality	Feeling (F) Sensitive, follow their hearts, keep feelings close to the surface, focus on harmony and cooperation
Are you Judging of Perceiving?
Judging (J) Decisive, prefer clear rules and guidelines, eager to commit, see deadlines as sacred, seek closure	Perceiving (P) Probing, prefer keeping their options open, reluctant to commit, relaxed about their work, seek freedom

For me, it's easy to see that I'm introverted, reserved, prefer solitary activities, etc. So that makes me an I... Then I look at the next row and I can see that I'm more in my imagination and ideas and 'what might happen' than the other, so that makes me an N... So then the next row, for me, is a little bit more difficult. I can see how I would fit into the Thinking, but it doesn't feel like I am. However, I can also see that I'm just not in the Feeling side, so that essentially confirms I'm a T... And the last row tells me that I'm definitely a P.

So this is a good and quick way of determining which personality type you are. Once you've worked it out, click on the appropriate link below to read more about it.

INTJ	INFJ	INTP	INFP
ISTJ	ISFJ	ISTP	ISFP
ENTJ	ENFJ	ENTP	ENFP
ESTJ	ESFJ	ESTP	ESFP

You might also find that using the above 'quick and easy' way of determining personality types can help you understand the personality type of family, friends or anyone else that you're curious about.

 

Understanding more about how and why people do the things they do can be beneficial in your interactions with them.

I hope this post has been of help to you.

My INTP personality

With many years spent exploring what makes people do the things they do, I became fascinated by 'personality types', and how different people can grow up in similar environments and yet have amazingly different personalities. I've talked about this elsewhere on my blog, and will continue doing so, but I wanted to put a bit more definition here about my personality, and link to it from my About Me page.

INTP strengths

• Great analysts and abstract thinkers. INTP personalities are great at noticing patterns and seeing the big picture. [I do love looking at the big picture of anything that interests me.] They also possess an impressive ability to jump from one idea to another, linking them in ways that usually bewilder most other personality types.


• Honest and straightforward. INTPs do not play social games and see no point in sugar-coating their words. They will clearly state their opinion and expect others to return the favor.


• Objective. People with the INTP personality are very logical and rational individuals, who see no point in involving emotions in the decision-making process. Consequently, they tend to pride themselves in being fair and impartial.


• Imaginative and original. An INTP’s mind is always working, always producing ideas regardless of whether they are likely to see the light of day. Not surprisingly, INTPs have no difficulties coming up with innovative, original solutions. [Really? Wish I could come up with an innovative, original solution that will allow me to earn money online!]


• Open-minded. INTPs tend to be open-minded and willing to accept ideas different from their own, provided that they are supported by facts and logic. Furthermore, INTPs are usually fairly liberal when it comes to social norms and traditions, judging people solely on the basis of their ideas. [And when people have stupid ideas, by God, I judge them for it. :) ]


• Enthusiastic. INTP personalities can spend an enormous amount of time trying to figure out something they are interested in. They will also be very enthusiastic when it comes to discussing that topic with other people. [Much to the regret of many of my friends....]

INTP weaknesses

• Absent-minded. INTPs are able to focus all their efforts on analyzing a specific idea [or interest], but this usually comes at a cost of ignoring everything else. They may be forgetful or simply miss things that have nothing to do with the object of their interest.


• Second-guess themselves. INTP personalities may be excellent analysts, but they often lack the decisiveness of J types. An INTP may find it quite difficult to decide which idea is the best one, always looking for more information and doubting their own conclusions. [Hmmm.... maybe that's why I can't come up with a solution to making money online, because I keep doubting the effectiveness of what I do come up with. I'll look into that...]


• Insensitive. INTPs are likely to find it difficult to include emotions in their decision-making process, focusing all their efforts on getting the rational basis right. Consequently, they may often come across as insensitive or be puzzled when it comes to dealing with an emotionally-charged situation. [Tact? What do you mean I don't understand tact? How do you spell that, I want to look it up...]


• Very private and withdrawn. INTPs are often reluctant to let anyone inside their minds [really, you don't want to see what's in there], let alone their hearts. They may often come across as shy in social settings and even the INTP’s friends are likely to have a difficult time getting to know them well.


• May be condescending. INTP personalities are usually proud of their extensive knowledge and reasoning abilities, but they may get easily frustrated trying to describe their thoughts other people. INTPs enjoy presenting their ideas to other people, but explaining how they got from A to Z is another matter. [Why can't you see what I see, and see how the dots are connected. Sheesh!]


• Loathe rules and guidelines. INTPs need a lot of freedom and have little respect for rules and traditions which put artificial limits on their imagination. People with this personality type would rather have less security and more autonomy. [Oh yeh, baby. Story of my life.]

Personality

“Philosophers”, “architects”, “dreamy professors”… These epithets are most often used to describe the INTP personality type. INTPs love theories and believe that everything can be analyzed and improved [well, it can!]. They are not that concerned about the real world and practical things – from the INTPs’ perspective, it is often less exciting than ideas and intellectual pursuits [what is possible is far more interesting than what is]. People with this personality type have no difficulties noticing patterns where others cannot – this makes them brilliant theorists and analysts. [My career at the moment is as a Business Analyst, and I'm good at seeing patterns between systems and processes.]

The accumulated knowledge is the most valued asset of any INTP. Imagine an immensely complicated clockwork which is constantly absorbing, processing and generating all kinds of theories – this is how the INTP mind works. People with the INTP personality type possess the most logically precise mind of all personality types – they can easily notice even the tiniest discrepancies between two statements, no matter how much time would have passed in between. It is a bad idea to lie to an INTP. They may appear dreamy sometimes, but this is not because their mind is resting – quite the opposite. [I pick up on people's lies all the time, but it took me a long time to understand why people get defensive so often when I reflect back to them what they say - no one likes being caught lying.]

INTPs are enthusiastic and impartial when it comes to dealing with problems – they drill through the details and then develop a unique approach and ultimately a viable solution. INTPs are usually very intelligent and insightful people, able to remain unbiased in any situation. They absolutely love new ideas and theories and would never miss an opportunity to discuss them with other people – however, this never-ending thinking process also makes them look somewhat pensive and detached, as INTPs are perfectly able to conduct full-fledged debates in their own heads. [Hahaha! That's true... I spend many hours talking with myself, even laughing at my own jokes. Which can be annoying for friends when there's a lull in conversation while I'm off in my own world and I suddenly burst out with laughter....]

People with this personality type may also find it quite difficult to explain their thoughts to others, even when it becomes obvious that their theories are not easily graspable. [How can you explain the intricacies of quantum mechanics and Many-Worlds Interpretation to someone who has trouble tying a shoelace? I just can't.] INTPs may also move on to another topic before their co-workers or partners have figured out what the INTP wanted to say.

INTPs cannot stand routine work [it makes me want to shoot myself] – they would much rather tackle a difficult theoretical problem. INTP personalities really have no limits when it comes to theoretical riddles – if there is no easy solution and the topic is interesting enough, an INTP can spend ages trying to come up with a solution.

INTP personalities are usually very shy and reluctant when it comes to meeting other people. However, INTPs can also be very friendly and confident when they interact with people they know well or talk about things that interest them. [Out of all my introverted friends, I'm the most extroverted. It's weird.] INTPs are flexible and relaxed in nearly all situations, except when their beliefs or logical conclusions are being criticized. In those cases, the INTP is likely to become very defensive and argue tirelessly. [You can give me an alternative opinion and I'll listen and respect it. But when you criticise my own without offering anything better, you will certainly find me fighting for what I believe is right.]

Sharing many personality traits with other T types, INTPs do not really understand or value decisions based on feelings or subjective opinions. In their opinion, the only good solution is the logical solution – INTPs do not see a point in using emotional arguments. [However, I may come up with a logical reason as to why an emotional decision or solution is a good idea....] Such an approach preserves the “sanctity” of their intellectual method; however, this also makes it difficult for INTP personalities to understand other people’s feelings or satisfy their emotional needs.

Individuals with the INTP personality type are likely to be very open-minded and even eccentric. [That's certainly me! I think I'm going to become more eccentric as I get older...] These traits, combined with their capacity for inventiveness and original thought, make up a very powerful mix – it is not surprising that INTPs are responsible for many scientific discoveries. An INTP is unlikely to care much about social expectations and the “usual” goals such as job security – however, they will do their best to find an environment where their creative genius and potential can be expressed. [I used to have a goal of job security, but the more I struggle with that, the more I find I don't care about it. I certainly am looking for an environment where I can express my potential instead.]

One of the few bottlenecks that INTPs impose upon themselves is their restless fear of possible failure. No other personality type worries that much about missing a piece of the mental puzzle or overlooking some crucial fact that might lead to a better solution. Unlike their more confident INTJ or ENTJ cousins, INTPs could spend ages reflecting on their actions. Even when an INTP is arguing with someone, this should be taken with a grain of salt – they might as well be arguing with their own mind. [And INTPs are often arguing so they can work out the validity of something for themselves, as well as for the person they're arguing with.]

 

Do the test to find your own personality. Share it with me in the comments below.

http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

What's your personality type?

I'm curious about what your personality type is, in accordance with the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality profiles. I'm wondering what personality types are visiting this blog and reading what I write. Who are you? That's what I'm curious about.

If you're curious too, then fill out this quiz so that you can see what your type is, and let me know in the comments below.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

I'm an INTP

My own type is INTP. It means I'm Introverted, iNtuitive, Thoughtful and Perceptive. I'm going to copy the most interesting parts of its description and talk about it.

INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them.

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My career is currently as a Business Analyst, so that's appropriate. I seem to have stumbled into a job I'm very good at. I'm also known to completely ignore the people around me, and the world in general, when I'm completely focused on something that requires me to think. Which is pretty much most everything I do.

INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible

I'm usually very relaxed and easy-going, but if you want to know what principles of mine I think are being violated, you only need to read the things I rant about. (Which reminds me. I should write a blog post about my principles, at some point...)

[Their] open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. An INTP arguing a point may very well be trying to convince himself as much as his opposition.

One of the things I've noticed on many occasions is that when I'm arguing in favour of something I believe or have a strong opinion about, I'm often seeking more information from my opposition. I ask questions about their own thoughts and take onboard what they say as extra 'data' for my analysis. If their data doesn't mesh well with what I currently have, then I'm likely to ignore or reject it, but if it provides clarification or insight on data I already have, then I'm likely to allow it to modify my position if it makes sense to do so.

But getting to that point can often be quite challenging for whoever is my opposition at the time. :)

Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages, computer systems--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought.

This is very true. I love playing with and creating new systems. In my career, my life, and even the games I end up playing have often seen me creating systems for other people to experience things more easily.

In seasons of low energy level, or moments of single-minded concentration, the INTP is aloof and detached in a way that might even offend more relational or extraverted individuals.

When I'm tired or just concentrating on something, I'm often detached and distant in ways that other people have been annoyed with. They think it's personal that I'm ignoring them, but it's not just them - it's everything that ceases to exist while I focus on something. I exist inside my mind, and everything outside of it disappears to me.

Your turn. What's your personality type? How do you feel about what you've learned of yourself? Do you think it's mostly accurate, or did you answer the questions wrong? :)

Perfect partner for an INTP

I'm an INTP (I'll add articles about that soon). If you're an INTP too, then this is an excellent guide for any potential and future partner(s) you might have or want:

This is one INTP’s definition of the needs of an INTP as a spouse or mate. The original author’s version was written for the INTP Husband. However, it appears from later discussion that INTP Women want the same things. So, with a bit of editorial license this is the guide to the INTP mate.

1. Lots of sex
I dont think it is just me as an INTP who finds this a very important part of a relationship and the most important physical expression of love in a relationship – it is NOT a selfish act for selfish physical satisfaction. But hell, it is damn pleasing, too

2. Moral support
It is a tough world out there for INTPs

3. An equal
INTPs have no wish to dominate, and are crushed by domination

4. Someone who is next to unoffendable
INTPs tend to lack tact, but also want and need to be brutally honest with thier intimate partners – they want someone who they can playfully insult, who will then either laugh in their face or give it right back.

5. Someone who can accept them for who they are and not try to change them
INTPs appear erratic to the casual observer in a relationship, for example – they appear to demand solitude one moment, sex the next. Non-INTPs find this VERY hard to reconcile with their typical conception of “love”

6. Someone who accepts the peculiar WAYS they show thier love
Be it really, really sappy hopless-romantic type drivel or passionate physical expression, or just a touch or a simple look. The INTP way is very hard to catch, if you blink, you miss it. Non-INTPs tend to want tokens and words, not a slow dance in a room with no radio, not a quiet cuddle in front of the TV at the end of the day, or the other strange and random expressions that INTPs tend to give. [This ties in with #5.]

7. SPACE [as in both physical and emotional space] 
In case it was missed, I’ll mention it again: SPACE!! INTP men need their free time to pursue intellectual pursuits, and CAN NOT be:

• disturbed


• told they dont love thier partner because they spend too much time “alone”, etc.

INTP men disappear for a while, then come out swinging. This FORCES most non-INTPs to think that the INTP partner only wants them for sex. This is wrong, but if the non-INTP is not capable of #5 and #6, they are forced to believe it.

8. Comforting [this goes along with #2.] 
The world sucks, particularly for INTPs. They are capable of an utterly staggering amount of patience and responsibility, but in the long run, without #2 and #8, the relationship will ultimately die, or the INTP will DIE a very real death. With #2 and #8, an INTP can take a spectacular amount of abuse, responsibility, and patience in life, as long as his partner supplies #2 and #8 in sufficient quantities.

9. An intellect, a person who can hold their own in a debate
The words “you always think you are right!!” are the LAST words an INTP wants to hear from their mate. The INTP wants debate! Wants intellectual stimulation! If they dont get it at home, #7 becomes very very very important. If their mate can not handle #7, there will be PROBLEMS. If the mate can supply #9, the INTP will be very happily occupied with their mate for a long, long time.

10. Someone to learn with [this goes with #9] 
Someone who is interested in learning and intellectual stimulation. The INTP needs someone who they can learn with and enjoy the mysteries and adventures of life with. Someone who can understand their interest in the esoteric, show appreciation for their interests, and even join them in these interests, or introduce them to new ones.

11. Someone capable of self reflection and self analysis
Often the INTP finds that they are the only one “growing” in a relationship, the only one who can see the problems in the relationship. This usually forces the INTP to be the one to change, to be the one to compromise for their partner. Because many non-INTPs have no true ability to self reflect, the non-INTP thinks they are ALWAYS right. The INTP spends their life examining themselves and their relationship to see what they need to do to make it work. So they spend all their time critically analyzing it, and the mate does nothing but demand that they change. This will eventually lead to the spiritual DEATH of the INTP, if not the actual PHYSICAL death of the INTP. To avoid this, the INTP person NEEDS a mate who can examine the relationship WITH them, so they can grow TOGETHER.