In all my years as a Business Analyst, I've never done a Business Case. Until last week. Now I'm an expert at them. At least, according to my employers, I am. But it's interesting to me that I've learnt about them at this moment in my life, because right now I'm considering a business idea.
It's something that came to me while I was on holiday a month ago, and which has been festering in my mind ever since.
Providing home tutoring for the elderly on how to use productivity tools on their computers, as well as how to use the internet and social media.
I got a massage tonight from someone in her 50s, and I was talking about it with her. She loved the idea so much she wants to be my first customer.
She also agreed with me that there's definitely a market out there of elderly people who've got no idea how to use their computers and social media to enhance their lives and keep in touch with loved ones.
So this festering idea is gaining strength.
I like the idea of also providing a subscription service that allows 'free' telephone tech support and advice, but if something requires a home visit to fix a problem or implement something I advised, then that would obviously cost extra.
So I think I'll do up a business case, now that I know how to do them. And follow that with a business plan.
I'm quite excited about this.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
My back went out today
I woke up today feeling a slight twinge in my lower back. This is usually a sign that I need to make an appointment with the chiropractor for a readjustment of the spine. So I went off to work, got out of the car, and the twinge turned into a 'twang!' as something shifted in my pelvis and gave way.
I've had it happen before, where a pelvis/hip joint goes out of alignment and you get sudden pain and and inability to move properly. When it happens - like it did today - I can't straighten my back without it seriously hurting, so I walk with a slightly hunched over back. I also walk with a limp, because I can't straight the leg either, without causing more pain. So I try to deal with the pain I have and walk like the hunchback of Notre Dame....
When it happened today I limped from the car into the office building and then called my chiropractor. Luckily she was able to see me straight away, so I limped back out to the car and drove to see her, where she did some 'adjustments'. Lots of bones cracking later, and I felt a bit better, and drove back to work.
I spent the rest of the day trying to do my work while resting in the chair, but it didn't work very well. Every time I had to get up to talk to someone or go somewhere, I was in a lot of pain. So eventually I went home about 2:30, having had all I could take.
Since then I've been at home relaxing, taking it easy, trying to let the problem sort itself out.
I think a joint around the hip has popped out or something. I think the chiropractor called it the sacro-something or other...
I just did a Google search for the 'sacro something or other' and found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint
It's inflamed, and needs rest. It happens every now and again.
Welcome to my life. My Journey.
[I posted another post prior to this (I've been struggling with a disability...), copied from something I wrote on Google+ last month, on Xmas Eve. I decided to start a new 'Disabled' category here, because I'm disabled, and this seemed like a good time for it.]
I've had it happen before, where a pelvis/hip joint goes out of alignment and you get sudden pain and and inability to move properly. When it happens - like it did today - I can't straighten my back without it seriously hurting, so I walk with a slightly hunched over back. I also walk with a limp, because I can't straight the leg either, without causing more pain. So I try to deal with the pain I have and walk like the hunchback of Notre Dame....
When it happened today I limped from the car into the office building and then called my chiropractor. Luckily she was able to see me straight away, so I limped back out to the car and drove to see her, where she did some 'adjustments'. Lots of bones cracking later, and I felt a bit better, and drove back to work.
I spent the rest of the day trying to do my work while resting in the chair, but it didn't work very well. Every time I had to get up to talk to someone or go somewhere, I was in a lot of pain. So eventually I went home about 2:30, having had all I could take.
Since then I've been at home relaxing, taking it easy, trying to let the problem sort itself out.
I think a joint around the hip has popped out or something. I think the chiropractor called it the sacro-something or other...
I just did a Google search for the 'sacro something or other' and found this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacroiliac_joint
It's inflamed, and needs rest. It happens every now and again.
Welcome to my life. My Journey.
[I posted another post prior to this (I've been struggling with a disability...), copied from something I wrote on Google+ last month, on Xmas Eve. I decided to start a new 'Disabled' category here, because I'm disabled, and this seemed like a good time for it.]
Monday, February 4, 2013
I've been struggling with a disability...
[I wrote this post on Google+ on Xmas Eve last year, and I decided to put it here as well.]
I've been struggling with a disability since 1993, almost 20 years now. The disability is invisible to those who don't know me.
I've had a herniated / collapsed disc in my lower back which bulges out against the sciatic nerve. When I'm walking, the pressure of gravity on the spine causes the disc to bulge out even further, causing pain in the lower back.
The longer I walk, the worse it gets. If I'm walking for more than 5 minutes, my legs go numb. As soon as I sit down or even rest and put my weight on something, it eases the pain and I get feeling coming back into my legs. Only for the numbness to return again when I continue walking.
It's something I've been able to cope with and manage. I get regular chiropractor sessions to put my skeletal structure back into place (the spinal weakness causes my muscles to compensate, which seems to pull my skeletal structure out of alignment on an ongoing basis). I also get regular massages, although I haven't done for a few months because my girlfriend does a lot of that these days, and gets my body feeling all relaxed. (From massage! Get your mind out of the gutter...)
Recently, however, I've had some new problems. Due to the offroading enhancements I've made on my #fjcruiser , it will no longer fit into undercover parking and I have to look for street parking or outdoor carpark areas. On the weekends, this is ok, it's not too busy and I can find carparks near my destinations so I don't have to walk very far. But during business hours during the week, it's a completely different story.
When I've needed to come into the CBD to attend a meeting for work, parking for my vehicle has been nonexistent. I've often had to find parking quite a distance away, which has been about a 15 minute walk.
This is a nice, easy distance for most people. For me, it's been a freakin' nightmare.
So after much deliberating and self-questioning, I booked an appointment with my doctor (meeting him in a couple hours from now) to get him to authorise a Disability Parking Permit.
For the entire period of this disability, I've refused to accept it as a disability. I refused to accept or acknowledge that I'm disabled. Twenty years ago I was sent an 'invalid application form' because the nature of my disability was such that I couldn't work at the time, and the independent government medical assessment determined that I'd never work again and was thus eligible for an invalid pension.
I threw it away and angrily said "I'm not disabled!" and got on with my life instead, working where I could, in the industry that I could. Which happened to be IT, where I can sit down and relax all the time.
So now, I'm at a point in my life where I have to accept and acknowledge that yes, I'm disabled. Walking is a significant problem for me, and yes, I need a disability parking permit for those times when I can't get a normal park close by where I need to go.
There's an embarrassment within me, a sense of broken pride that I can't cope with what my life is giving me. But as someone explained to me recently, it's about maintaining the quality of my life, and if this permit will do that, then I should make use of it.
There's also the knowledge that there are many, many others who are far more disabled than me, who I would be worried about taking a space for someone more deserving. But that's part of the acknowledgement of my own disability that I'm working through.
There's also the embarrassment I'll feel when challenged by someone when I get out of my vehicle in a manner that suggests I'm not disabled at all. But I read this article just now which inspired me to write this post.
http://www.abc.net.au/rampup/articles/2011/01/17/3114690.htm
This particular paragraph resonated with me:
Comparing one person's needs to another's echoes the old adage about comparing apples and oranges. It's subjective and pointless. A person with a disability who doesn't require a wheelchair could be in an incredible amount of pain; a person with a wheelchair could be pain free, but have to overcome a lot of difficulty to exit and enter their car; a person with an upper body disability might have trouble carrying items long distances, or pushing a trolley. Who's to say which struggle is more deserving when there is limited disabled parking available?
And then this paragraph also struck a chord with my own way of thinking:
As a permit holder and sometimes wheelchair user, I am mindful that there are people with needs different to mine. My choice to use disabled parking is calculated by considering my pain level, plus distance, divided by regular parking availability. If I don't need it and have another option, I won't park there.
So in a couple of hours I'll talk to my doctor and get this application form authorised by him. I remember he offered to authorise this action about 14 years ago, but I refused at the time.
Tomorrow I'll have a disabled parking permit. Tomorrow I'll be disabled, and I'll accept that.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Passive Aggression and Relationships
I grew up with Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder (PAPD) into my adult years, and had it affect my life and quite a few of my relationships over the years. I just never knew, and thought it was always other people with the problem, not me.
I only discovered in 2005 that I had it, at the age of 39. I took it seriously, because what I read about it completely explained a lot of my own behaviour and feelings. When I found out that most PAPD sufferers just don't heal because they can't accept responsibility for their actions, I knew that I had to accept responsibility for everything, even if I 'knew' I wasn't responsible.
The results were spectacular. By accepting responsibility for my behaviour and my choices, I was able to 'clean up' my life, building a rewarding career and finding a woman that completely matched my values and helped me heal because she never 'pushed my buttons' that resulted in passive aggressive responses.
Based on my own experiences with PAPD and significantly healing myself from 30 years of negatively trained behaviour, I feel very strongly that I can help others with PAPD, or at least their partners. It's not surprising to me that most of the people approaching me, after reading my articles on the subject, have been lonely and distraught partners who don't know how to deal with their partner after years of passive aggressive behaviour.
It saddens me that so many men refuse to treat their partners with love and care, but I completely understand why they're unable to. I can only hope that what I write will at least:
What is Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder ?
PAPD is a result of being emotionally suppressed and punished as a child by their parents. I think that it’s more common for mothers (or parents) to suppress the emotions of boys and punish them for it, than it is girls to have their emotions suppressed and punished.
I think there’s been an expectation by parents (particularly of the generation around 30-50 years ago - that's been my personal experience, of course) that boys shouldn’t be emotional, but girls should, so boys get punished when they’re emotional. However, I haven’t looked for any evidence to support that, it’s just my perception.
Passive agression is common amongst most people, but it becomes a personality disorder when it negatively and significantly affects most aspects of your life, and becomes your primary behaviour.
Growing into adulthood, the PAPD sufferer is unable to express themselves emotionally. They usually don’t feel safe to express themselves, because they’ve been taught as a child that any expression of emotions will be punished, so they hold onto this understanding as they grow into adults. This will be exacerbated by choosing women who 'punish them' (perceived by them as nagging, complaining, etc) for the expression of their feelings.
Ironically, they often find themselves attracted to women who have similar qualities to their own mother’s attitudes and behaviours. This is because it’s somehow familiar and attractive to them, but the resulting problem is that they also end up being resentful of their partner’s attitude and behaviour.
How does this affect their relationships?
They maintain a ‘rebellious teenager’ kind of attitude, where they’ll agree to doing something but then never get around to doing it, and then when confronted about it, they’ll find all manner of justifications as to why they didn’t do it, but also find blame for their partner's nagging and controlling behaviour.
Since they’re afraid of being punished for expressing their feelings, they’ll often keep their feelings to themselves. Add this fear of expression to their anger about their past, and also about how they feel they’re being treated in the present by their partner, and passive aggression is a result.
This can include subdued and subtle expressions of anger (usually, but it can also become over expressions of anger and violence), as well as self-sabotage as well as relationship-sabogate, simply because they don’t know how to deal with their feelings. They ‘lash out’ in ways that they’ve learned over the years protects them from being punished, makes them feel justified in their actions, and that it’s never their fault.
Avoiding personal responsibility is a common theme with PAPD sufferers, because they feel they can’t be reasonably punished if they’re not responsible. Therefore any 'punishment' they receive is not reasonable, as far as they're concerned.
How to heal
What I’ve learned from my own research into this is that most PAPD sufferers are unable to find healing, because ‘they’re not responsible’. How can they heal a problem if they think they’re not the ones with the problem?
Unless the PAPD sufferer is aware of his problem, acknowledges and actively tries to find a way to heal himself, then any attempt by his partner to change him or help him heal will only be met by resentment and continued passive aggressive behaviour from him.
He'll resent her for trying to change him, want to be accepted for who he is, and will continue to believe that he doesn’t have a problem, and that it’s her and everyone else in his life that has a problem.
If he can’t work towards his own healing of his own free will, without her ‘forcing’ him to, then he will continue resenting her behaviour and attitude and will continue to think it’s her with the problem, not him.
If she really wants to help him heal, then she has to find the strength within herself to let go of her expectations about him. Completely cease trying to tell him what to do, and completely cease ‘punishing him’ with her own complaints about his behaviour.
She effectively has to let him go, to do his own thing, and to make herself emotionally vulnerable. If he thinks she's in control, or that she wants to control him, he’ll be resentful of her. If he thinks that she's letting him take control, and she ceases trying to control him, then he’ll find a sense of happiness and reward within himself.
Her emotional vulnerability will allow his own emotional strength to be asserted, in a manner that is safe and rewarding for him.
Subconsciously, what he’s tried to do in his life is find someone who is like his mother, but isn’t his mother. He wants to be in control, without being controlled. He wants safety to express himself, without being punished for it.
If he can’t get that, he’ll continue being PAPD.
If his partner can’t give him what he needs because she's got too much anger in her, or she can’t get past her expectations of how he should behave as your partner, then she's not going to be able to help him find healing.
Most PAPD sufferers leave a trail of broken relationships in their wake because they’re unable to accept responsibility for their behaviour. But it’s also because their partner is unwilling to be what they need in order to help them avoid resentment and anger, and provide them with safety to explore their feelings and find their own path to healing.
If giving up her expectations and letting him be in control (so that he can be in a different state of mind to where he currently is) is something that she's just unable to do, the problem will remain, and the most likely result will be the ending of their relationship.
It takes both members of a realationship to create a conflict, but it also takes both of them to resolve the conflict.
Good luck.
What if it's not working?
If you're in this situation and you find that you’re doing everything you can to let him feel safe, allow him to express his feelings, to have a sense of control in the relationship, and you’re still unhappy with the result, then it might be worth considering that it’s time to move on.
You’ve given it your best shot, and if the relationship continues to be unworkable and unfulfilling, you have a responsibility to yourself to look after your own best interests. Find the courage to do what’s right for you.
If children are going to be involved, it might get messy, but if you approach this with care and love for everyone concerned, you can arrange an amicable separation. Don't give him anything to react aggressively to, and he won't.
Again, good luck.
Contact the author
Please don't hesitate to email me if you have any specific questions, concerns or scenarios that you'd like my feedback with. I'd be happy to help out.
I only discovered in 2005 that I had it, at the age of 39. I took it seriously, because what I read about it completely explained a lot of my own behaviour and feelings. When I found out that most PAPD sufferers just don't heal because they can't accept responsibility for their actions, I knew that I had to accept responsibility for everything, even if I 'knew' I wasn't responsible.
The results were spectacular. By accepting responsibility for my behaviour and my choices, I was able to 'clean up' my life, building a rewarding career and finding a woman that completely matched my values and helped me heal because she never 'pushed my buttons' that resulted in passive aggressive responses.
Based on my own experiences with PAPD and significantly healing myself from 30 years of negatively trained behaviour, I feel very strongly that I can help others with PAPD, or at least their partners. It's not surprising to me that most of the people approaching me, after reading my articles on the subject, have been lonely and distraught partners who don't know how to deal with their partner after years of passive aggressive behaviour.
It saddens me that so many men refuse to treat their partners with love and care, but I completely understand why they're unable to. I can only hope that what I write will at least:
- allow some of these men to find it and reach their own realisations that lead to their healing, or
- help their partners find ways of dealing with it that can result in the healing of their passive aggressive husband, or
- give them the courage to move on.
What is Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder ?
PAPD is a result of being emotionally suppressed and punished as a child by their parents. I think that it’s more common for mothers (or parents) to suppress the emotions of boys and punish them for it, than it is girls to have their emotions suppressed and punished.
I think there’s been an expectation by parents (particularly of the generation around 30-50 years ago - that's been my personal experience, of course) that boys shouldn’t be emotional, but girls should, so boys get punished when they’re emotional. However, I haven’t looked for any evidence to support that, it’s just my perception.
Passive agression is common amongst most people, but it becomes a personality disorder when it negatively and significantly affects most aspects of your life, and becomes your primary behaviour.
Growing into adulthood, the PAPD sufferer is unable to express themselves emotionally. They usually don’t feel safe to express themselves, because they’ve been taught as a child that any expression of emotions will be punished, so they hold onto this understanding as they grow into adults. This will be exacerbated by choosing women who 'punish them' (perceived by them as nagging, complaining, etc) for the expression of their feelings.
Ironically, they often find themselves attracted to women who have similar qualities to their own mother’s attitudes and behaviours. This is because it’s somehow familiar and attractive to them, but the resulting problem is that they also end up being resentful of their partner’s attitude and behaviour.
How does this affect their relationships?
They maintain a ‘rebellious teenager’ kind of attitude, where they’ll agree to doing something but then never get around to doing it, and then when confronted about it, they’ll find all manner of justifications as to why they didn’t do it, but also find blame for their partner's nagging and controlling behaviour.
Since they’re afraid of being punished for expressing their feelings, they’ll often keep their feelings to themselves. Add this fear of expression to their anger about their past, and also about how they feel they’re being treated in the present by their partner, and passive aggression is a result.
This can include subdued and subtle expressions of anger (usually, but it can also become over expressions of anger and violence), as well as self-sabotage as well as relationship-sabogate, simply because they don’t know how to deal with their feelings. They ‘lash out’ in ways that they’ve learned over the years protects them from being punished, makes them feel justified in their actions, and that it’s never their fault.
Avoiding personal responsibility is a common theme with PAPD sufferers, because they feel they can’t be reasonably punished if they’re not responsible. Therefore any 'punishment' they receive is not reasonable, as far as they're concerned.
How to heal
What I’ve learned from my own research into this is that most PAPD sufferers are unable to find healing, because ‘they’re not responsible’. How can they heal a problem if they think they’re not the ones with the problem?
Unless the PAPD sufferer is aware of his problem, acknowledges and actively tries to find a way to heal himself, then any attempt by his partner to change him or help him heal will only be met by resentment and continued passive aggressive behaviour from him.
He'll resent her for trying to change him, want to be accepted for who he is, and will continue to believe that he doesn’t have a problem, and that it’s her and everyone else in his life that has a problem.
If he can’t work towards his own healing of his own free will, without her ‘forcing’ him to, then he will continue resenting her behaviour and attitude and will continue to think it’s her with the problem, not him.
If she really wants to help him heal, then she has to find the strength within herself to let go of her expectations about him. Completely cease trying to tell him what to do, and completely cease ‘punishing him’ with her own complaints about his behaviour.
She effectively has to let him go, to do his own thing, and to make herself emotionally vulnerable. If he thinks she's in control, or that she wants to control him, he’ll be resentful of her. If he thinks that she's letting him take control, and she ceases trying to control him, then he’ll find a sense of happiness and reward within himself.
Her emotional vulnerability will allow his own emotional strength to be asserted, in a manner that is safe and rewarding for him.
Subconsciously, what he’s tried to do in his life is find someone who is like his mother, but isn’t his mother. He wants to be in control, without being controlled. He wants safety to express himself, without being punished for it.
If he can’t get that, he’ll continue being PAPD.
If his partner can’t give him what he needs because she's got too much anger in her, or she can’t get past her expectations of how he should behave as your partner, then she's not going to be able to help him find healing.
Most PAPD sufferers leave a trail of broken relationships in their wake because they’re unable to accept responsibility for their behaviour. But it’s also because their partner is unwilling to be what they need in order to help them avoid resentment and anger, and provide them with safety to explore their feelings and find their own path to healing.
If giving up her expectations and letting him be in control (so that he can be in a different state of mind to where he currently is) is something that she's just unable to do, the problem will remain, and the most likely result will be the ending of their relationship.
It takes both members of a realationship to create a conflict, but it also takes both of them to resolve the conflict.
Good luck.
What if it's not working?
If you're in this situation and you find that you’re doing everything you can to let him feel safe, allow him to express his feelings, to have a sense of control in the relationship, and you’re still unhappy with the result, then it might be worth considering that it’s time to move on.
You’ve given it your best shot, and if the relationship continues to be unworkable and unfulfilling, you have a responsibility to yourself to look after your own best interests. Find the courage to do what’s right for you.
If children are going to be involved, it might get messy, but if you approach this with care and love for everyone concerned, you can arrange an amicable separation. Don't give him anything to react aggressively to, and he won't.
Again, good luck.
Contact the author
Please don't hesitate to email me if you have any specific questions, concerns or scenarios that you'd like my feedback with. I'd be happy to help out.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Why this blog sucks
I was reading a really interesting post on another blog that struck a few nerves with me. Made me feel all tingly, in a not so warm kind of way. So that made me want to do some writing. And here I am, writing about why my blog sucks.
It was a post on various methods needed to make a great blog, and how without engaging in these methods, your blog is likely to suck. I decided to write about my own blog in the same format.
Epic Posts
Long, descriptive, valuable content that readers want to bookmark and share. I certainly don't have that, and I never really have. I'm still trying to work out what knowledge I have that others might find of value, and present it in ways that others might think is amazing and want to share it with everyone they know.
To be honest, I'm not good with epic posts. I always think that most people don't have a lot of time to read something 'epic', so I try to write short articles or posts that will fit into their available time for my material. If they like it, I hope they'll stick around a bit longer and read some other short pieces as well.
As for epic posts in my future, I don't know. I'll work on it.
Be Helpful
There's a part of me that wants to solve people's problems, but another part of me wonders what problems readers might have that I could possibly solve.
I know that I want to help people make better choices in their life, but I also think that most people don't even see that as a problem. They're usually completely unaware that their choices might be a problem, so they're not looking for help with that.
I'm not sure how to help people with something they don't think they need help with. Maybe I'm approaching it all wrong? I'll work on that too.
Networking
I'm an introvert, so building relationships is a little difficult for me, regardless of whether it's in the real world or online. I've made some online connections over the past 17 years of being online, some of which I'm still in touch with today, but a big part of my personality resists establishing relationships simply to promote something.
I'm uncomfortable with saying, "Hey, I want to get to know you and develop a relationship so that I can ride the coattails of your success and maybe get a few scraps from your discarded bones." That's just not me at all.
However, I know that most people enhance their audience by getting someone popular to help them out, and it's at least a nudge for your own success. And many people out there just love to use their own popularity to help other people get their own following.
So I'll work on getting over what I'm uncomfortable with, and to contact other like-minded bloggers out there that might enjoy or appreciate my work enough to mention it to their own fans.
Tell Stories
If there's one thing I do really well amongst my closest friends when I'm socialising with them is tell stories. I can sometimes deliver a story in a way that has people rolling with laughter.
I'm going to try and write some of my stories as if I'm telling my closest friends, and then publish it here. I have a feeling that could work out quite nicely.
Be Unique
I'm still trying to find my niche, to find that which stands out from others. Or, as some say, I'm trying to find my 'voice'.
I think I have it, and I think that it works for me. But where's the readers arriving in drones to read what I write about? Well, they're not coming, so that tells me my voice not only isn't being heard, but it isn't worth listening to.
I'll keep exploring my 'voice', to see if I can find a topic that people want to hear about, as well as a way of writing that they want to read more of.
Have A Story
This is true. What am I doing that's worth noticing? Not much.
What guy are you?
I'm the guy that's still trying to work out what kind of guy he is. Maybe that's the kind of guy I am? Maybe that thing I could be doing that's worth noticing is writing about trying to find out what kind of guy I am?
I'll keep looking into it.
Be Everywhere
Yeh, I just can't be. At least not yet, and maybe not for a long time. I work 8 hours a day, and when I come home I'm usually brain dead from my work. The last thing I want to do at home is to do more 'work'.
I know it's kind of a 'catch-22' situation. If I didn't have to work a 'day job', I'd be able to spend more time to be active everywhere. But until I'm active everywhere, I don't see myself as being able to quit the day job.
What to do? Obviously just the best that I can do within the circumstances of my life.
Promotion
I'm not sure how this is any different to Networking, but maybe they just wanted to add another bold heading and couldn't think of anything else?
In Summary
This exercise has given me a few pointers to helping me make a better blog. Will it become a great blog? I'm not sure. Time will tell.
It was a post on various methods needed to make a great blog, and how without engaging in these methods, your blog is likely to suck. I decided to write about my own blog in the same format.
Epic Posts
Long, descriptive, valuable content that readers want to bookmark and share. I certainly don't have that, and I never really have. I'm still trying to work out what knowledge I have that others might find of value, and present it in ways that others might think is amazing and want to share it with everyone they know.
To be honest, I'm not good with epic posts. I always think that most people don't have a lot of time to read something 'epic', so I try to write short articles or posts that will fit into their available time for my material. If they like it, I hope they'll stick around a bit longer and read some other short pieces as well.
As for epic posts in my future, I don't know. I'll work on it.
Be Helpful
Great bloggers solve problems for their readers.
There's a part of me that wants to solve people's problems, but another part of me wonders what problems readers might have that I could possibly solve.
I know that I want to help people make better choices in their life, but I also think that most people don't even see that as a problem. They're usually completely unaware that their choices might be a problem, so they're not looking for help with that.
I'm not sure how to help people with something they don't think they need help with. Maybe I'm approaching it all wrong? I'll work on that too.
Networking
If you want to promote your content [...] online you have to build relationships with bloggers that are more popular than you are.
I'm an introvert, so building relationships is a little difficult for me, regardless of whether it's in the real world or online. I've made some online connections over the past 17 years of being online, some of which I'm still in touch with today, but a big part of my personality resists establishing relationships simply to promote something.
I'm uncomfortable with saying, "Hey, I want to get to know you and develop a relationship so that I can ride the coattails of your success and maybe get a few scraps from your discarded bones." That's just not me at all.
However, I know that most people enhance their audience by getting someone popular to help them out, and it's at least a nudge for your own success. And many people out there just love to use their own popularity to help other people get their own following.
So I'll work on getting over what I'm uncomfortable with, and to contact other like-minded bloggers out there that might enjoy or appreciate my work enough to mention it to their own fans.
Tell Stories
If there's one thing I do really well amongst my closest friends when I'm socialising with them is tell stories. I can sometimes deliver a story in a way that has people rolling with laughter.
I'm going to try and write some of my stories as if I'm telling my closest friends, and then publish it here. I have a feeling that could work out quite nicely.
Be Unique
"You are all individuals!" "Errr... I'm not." - Monty Python's Life of Brian
I'm still trying to find my niche, to find that which stands out from others. Or, as some say, I'm trying to find my 'voice'.
I think I have it, and I think that it works for me. But where's the readers arriving in drones to read what I write about? Well, they're not coming, so that tells me my voice not only isn't being heard, but it isn't worth listening to.
I'll keep exploring my 'voice', to see if I can find a topic that people want to hear about, as well as a way of writing that they want to read more of.
Have A Story
In order for people to take notice, you have to be doing something worth noticing.
This is true. What am I doing that's worth noticing? Not much.
What guy are you?
I'm the guy that's still trying to work out what kind of guy he is. Maybe that's the kind of guy I am? Maybe that thing I could be doing that's worth noticing is writing about trying to find out what kind of guy I am?
I'll keep looking into it.
Be Everywhere
Super bloggers [...] are active everywhere.
Yeh, I just can't be. At least not yet, and maybe not for a long time. I work 8 hours a day, and when I come home I'm usually brain dead from my work. The last thing I want to do at home is to do more 'work'.
I know it's kind of a 'catch-22' situation. If I didn't have to work a 'day job', I'd be able to spend more time to be active everywhere. But until I'm active everywhere, I don't see myself as being able to quit the day job.
What to do? Obviously just the best that I can do within the circumstances of my life.
Promotion
...you have to promote it to get more traffic. That means getting guest post and mentions from popular bloggers.
I'm not sure how this is any different to Networking, but maybe they just wanted to add another bold heading and couldn't think of anything else?
In Summary
This exercise has given me a few pointers to helping me make a better blog. Will it become a great blog? I'm not sure. Time will tell.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Is your phone just a phone?
My phone is a lot more than just a phone. It's essentially my personal computer when I'm out and about. It's there to keep me connected with the things that are important to me.
Anything I might need to know, I can just Google it. Whether it's in a cafe, on the bus (not that I ever take the bus these days), walking by a lake, or driving through mountain ranges in my car. Whatever I need to know - in the moment - is there for me.
It provides reminders to important events that I've set. It allows me to communicate with people - not just by texting them, but also with instant messaging (IM) like Google Talk, etc. I can keep up with emails.
Photography is an important element of my life, and my phone also takes photos. With an app I use called Snapseed, it processes the photos to look just amazing. With an 8MP camera and fancy (but easy) processing, the photos can look really impressive. (Like the photo at the beginning of this post that I took of the sunset last night).
I keep up to date with what my friends are doing on Facebook, or what certain people or organisations are doing or sharing on Google+. They provide interesting bits of information to help flesh out my day, and sometimes it's interesting enough to share out with my own followers on those same sites.
I also use my phone occasionally to write blog posts, or keep up with various blogs I follow in Google Reader. And I use the Kindle app to read books that I've purchased from Amazon.
All these things are done on my phone. Only a few years ago there's no way I could have done them all on anything other than my desktop computer or laptop, so it's pretty amazing how far technology has come.
My phone's a Samsung Galaxy Note I. I'll be upgrading soon to the Note II, and looking forward to more of the same, but faster.
I'm not sure what the future will bring. Smartphones are our portable computers, and I'm not sure they can get smaller while still being practical. Google is working on Google Glasses, which will provide 'augmented reality' holographically projected in front of your eyes. This will apparently allow you to receive a lot of the information you get on your phone, but projected in front of your eyes instead. Voice controls will allow interactivity. Instead of texting, I can imagine we'll be using it for voice and video calls.
I'm looking forward to the future. I always have, it just keeps on getting more and more interesting.
Anything I might need to know, I can just Google it. Whether it's in a cafe, on the bus (not that I ever take the bus these days), walking by a lake, or driving through mountain ranges in my car. Whatever I need to know - in the moment - is there for me.
It provides reminders to important events that I've set. It allows me to communicate with people - not just by texting them, but also with instant messaging (IM) like Google Talk, etc. I can keep up with emails.
Photography is an important element of my life, and my phone also takes photos. With an app I use called Snapseed, it processes the photos to look just amazing. With an 8MP camera and fancy (but easy) processing, the photos can look really impressive. (Like the photo at the beginning of this post that I took of the sunset last night).
I keep up to date with what my friends are doing on Facebook, or what certain people or organisations are doing or sharing on Google+. They provide interesting bits of information to help flesh out my day, and sometimes it's interesting enough to share out with my own followers on those same sites.
I also use my phone occasionally to write blog posts, or keep up with various blogs I follow in Google Reader. And I use the Kindle app to read books that I've purchased from Amazon.
All these things are done on my phone. Only a few years ago there's no way I could have done them all on anything other than my desktop computer or laptop, so it's pretty amazing how far technology has come.
My phone's a Samsung Galaxy Note I. I'll be upgrading soon to the Note II, and looking forward to more of the same, but faster.
I'm not sure what the future will bring. Smartphones are our portable computers, and I'm not sure they can get smaller while still being practical. Google is working on Google Glasses, which will provide 'augmented reality' holographically projected in front of your eyes. This will apparently allow you to receive a lot of the information you get on your phone, but projected in front of your eyes instead. Voice controls will allow interactivity. Instead of texting, I can imagine we'll be using it for voice and video calls.
I'm looking forward to the future. I always have, it just keeps on getting more and more interesting.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Sleepwalkers
Sleepwalkers are everywhere. They're all around us. You might even be one of them! Sleepwalkers are those people who are just sleepwalking through life, on autopilot, being reactive instead of proactive. Some people call them zombies.
They're victims of their life, at the mercy of its ebbs and flows. They don't take control, they just exist. They sit in front of TVs and waste their life away. They get caught up in drama in their life, or they create drama, just so they can feel alive.
As I sit here in this shopping centre, writing this article, I see them walking past. You can do it too, if you sat down somewhere and took the time.
How many of them do you think are drifting through their life and not even aware of their own potential? How many of them don't even realise there's more to this life than what they're experiencing right now?
Many of them are too afraid to step outside of their routine, or outside of their comfort zones. They prefer to stick with the familiar than explore the unfamiliar.
Over Christmas and the New Year, I drove 5,000 km in two weeks. I visited and experienced amazing locations and activities across a large area of Australia that most people never will. I drove on beautiful beaches stretching over the horizon, and drove up and down 100 foot sand dunes. I experienced parts of this beautiful country that I've never been to before, but always wanted to.
Returning to civilisation, I look at the cars on the road, and the people all around me, and I know that most people will never get out of their home city, let alone their state. I feel like I've seen more of this world that most of them never will.
I know that's true for anything, and I know that there are still many people in this world who see and experience things that I never will.
The unfamiliar is attractive to me. I seek it out. I'm aware that there is more in this world than what we take for granted, and I want to get our there and find it and experience it.
As a result, I don't feel like a sleepwalker. I feel like I'm awake. Even though I'm doing a lot of the things most people are, I'm aware of myself in this world, and I'm seeking a lot more than to just keep on existing with no change.
I'm seeking to explore this world, but to explore my inner world as well. I'm wanting to open my eyes and see much more than what I currently do.
I feel like I take control of my life in a way that improves it, and that's what's important to me, and what makes me think in not a sleepwalker.
Do you know any sleepwalkers in your life? Or do you think you're one of them
They're victims of their life, at the mercy of its ebbs and flows. They don't take control, they just exist. They sit in front of TVs and waste their life away. They get caught up in drama in their life, or they create drama, just so they can feel alive.
As I sit here in this shopping centre, writing this article, I see them walking past. You can do it too, if you sat down somewhere and took the time.
How many of them do you think are drifting through their life and not even aware of their own potential? How many of them don't even realise there's more to this life than what they're experiencing right now?
Many of them are too afraid to step outside of their routine, or outside of their comfort zones. They prefer to stick with the familiar than explore the unfamiliar.
Over Christmas and the New Year, I drove 5,000 km in two weeks. I visited and experienced amazing locations and activities across a large area of Australia that most people never will. I drove on beautiful beaches stretching over the horizon, and drove up and down 100 foot sand dunes. I experienced parts of this beautiful country that I've never been to before, but always wanted to.
Returning to civilisation, I look at the cars on the road, and the people all around me, and I know that most people will never get out of their home city, let alone their state. I feel like I've seen more of this world that most of them never will.
I know that's true for anything, and I know that there are still many people in this world who see and experience things that I never will.
The unfamiliar is attractive to me. I seek it out. I'm aware that there is more in this world than what we take for granted, and I want to get our there and find it and experience it.
As a result, I don't feel like a sleepwalker. I feel like I'm awake. Even though I'm doing a lot of the things most people are, I'm aware of myself in this world, and I'm seeking a lot more than to just keep on existing with no change.
I'm seeking to explore this world, but to explore my inner world as well. I'm wanting to open my eyes and see much more than what I currently do.
I feel like I take control of my life in a way that improves it, and that's what's important to me, and what makes me think in not a sleepwalker.
Do you know any sleepwalkers in your life? Or do you think you're one of them
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